Hilarious Jokes
Because sometimes you just need to laugh and/or roll your eyes…
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why do pirates wear underwear?
To hide their booty!
We got a new whiteboard at the office.
It’s remarkable!
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space?
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner for a bit.
They're usually around 90 degrees.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
There wasn't any chemistry.
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married recently?
The ceremony was okay, but the reception was great!
Once my dog ate all of the Scrabble tiles. For days she kept leaving little messages around the house.
Did you hear about the guy stealing tires around town?
The police have been pursuing him tirelessly.
Two mice were chewing on a film roll. One of them says, "I think the book was better."
When my Grandpa was 65 he started running a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now and we have no idea where he is.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."
A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.
Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
Because it's too tired.
Why do the French like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
A little punny humor for you...
One of my greatest talents is being able to know what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.
I Googled "how to start a wildfire". I got 48,500 matches.
A Spanish magician has a grand magical show and at the end he says he will disappear after counting to three. He starts to count, “Uno, dos…”
Kazaam! He vanished without a tres.A guy was admitted to hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is now stable.
I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but I guess my plans were foiled.
Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.
Have you heard about the new restaurant named Karma? There's no menu, you get what you deserve.
